You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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