i jhust puked up my retainher.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
