dude i'm inner monologue high
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
