I heard we made out
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
