He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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