I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
