You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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