Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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