the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
