i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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