was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
