i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
