I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's Friday. Sex?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
