the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
worst night to have a conscience
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
