honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize