god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
