Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
