u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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