I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you never un-have a 4some
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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