i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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