had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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