ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
