i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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