There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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