Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize