guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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