I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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