I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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