I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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