Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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