dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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