One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
