I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
