yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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