you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize