That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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