I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
