Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize