I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
