Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
