Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
