Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
