I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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