He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
