Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
