wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
