i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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