Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
and you said cock pushups were impossible
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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