Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
