I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
