It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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