fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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