fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
