i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
