so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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