Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
only you would photoshop your dick
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize