dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize