What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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