I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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