I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
