I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
