i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
