I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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