More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize