She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
