awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
