I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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