We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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